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Title: Taking Care
Author: Kate Webber
Pairing: Merry/Pippin and
Frodo/Sam implied
Rating: R- NC17ish
Summary: After Pelenor
Fields
Pippin promised to take care of Merry, years later he does - hehehe
A/N: Set just after
Frodo left
for the Grey Havens - but I made it Christmastime.
Written for
Shirasade's Secret Santa, this is a present for
venenatus.venustas Merry Christmas and Happy New Year :)
p.s. I've never
written a full NC17 scene before and Christmas really
didn't seem like that time to start :)
Frodo was
gone. Sam was married and Frodo was gone, gone on the
long slow voyage to the Grey Havens with the Elves. Merry sighed
into his beer, he knew Frodo had wanted to go; he wouldn't have set one
foot on that boat if he hadn't. And he deserved it too, he
deserved to finally have some peace and happiness. But why did he
have to leave to get it? Merry tried not to resent Sam and his oh
so happy family but he also knew that Sam's marriage to Rosie Cotton
was one of the main reasons for Frodo's departure. Sam deserved
his own happiness, they all did, but did it have to be at Frodo's
expense? Merry never knew the full story of what happened between
them but from what he had gathered declarations had been made and
feelings had been reciprocated. Of course they had thought they
were going to die but that didn't make Frodo's feelings any less real
and Sam should not have led him on no matter what the
circumstances. Frodo of course laid no blame on Sam, //He wanted
to give me some small comfort before the end Merry, there is no fault
but my own for badly misunderstanding his intentions. He has a
friend's love for me and that is all, there is no changing it.//
He and Frodo had
sat up late into the night before they set off for
Rivendell and Frodo had revealed his plan to go on with Bilbo and
Gandalf. Merry had begged him to stay but his mind had been set.
//I cannot stay here and watch him be happy and know that I am not the
cause. And if nothing else I can take with me the knowledge that
he is happy//
Merry sighed
again a loud drawn out breath designed to capture the
attention of-
„What's the
matter Merry? Here finish your pint, have another one
and we'll go find some lasses to dance with." Little Pippin
grinned over his mug of ale motioning for Merry to drink. At the
mention of girls Merry rolled his eyes, perhaps Pip wasn't so little
after all, there was a time not so long ago when a party was the chance
for mischief and drinking and then more drinking and mischief.
Now it seemed Pippin had other things in mind, he leaned back in his
seat and nodded over at Amaryllis and Verbena Proudfoot who giggled and
waved back. „Come on Merry, let's dance."
Two hours later
Merry collapsed into a chair and Pip spun yet another
girl across the makeshift dance floor. That was possibly his
tenth partner for the night, Merry had lost count, at least he didn't
appear to want to take this one out into the gardens. He had
quite enough brothers, fathers and beau's glaring at him already-in
fact it was probably time for a discreet exit
„Pip," Merry
grabbed his arm as he passed by, „You almost done? I
think you've danced with every unmarried girl under seventy and a few
of the married ones-time to call it a night?" In a blatant
attempt at manipulation Merry let his exhaustion show. It was
almost Christmas and every Hobbit and his dog was having a party, in
the last few days they had been out all day and most of every
night. The few hours Merry did manage to sleep at night weren't
altogether pleasant, he didn't know why but the dark dreams had started
again, the ones he'd had for almost a year after returning from Gondor.
„Oh Merry, why
didn't you say you were tired? Come on we'll get
going." The cool night air was a welcome change from the warm,
slightly stuffy smoke filled air of the Proudfoot's hall. „Let's
cut through the gardens Merry, it'll be a short cut."
„As long as no
one thinks you're taking me out here like one of your
conquests, how many girls did you manage to lead astray tonight?"
Pippin giggled, sounding very much like the child he used to be, and
linked his arm through Merry's leading them away from the soft glow of
the windows.
„Not sure, I
lost count."
„So did I, you
may have some questions to answer in the morning."
Merry warned him suddenly feeling more like a much old uncle than an
only slightly older cousin. Pip giggled again and hugged his arm
tightly, leading him further into the darkened garden.
„You'll be at my
side, won't you Merry?"
„Of course Pip."
The younger
Hobbit stopped suddenly pulling Merry to a halt at his
side, the darkness surrounded them and Pippen turned his face up to the
sky.
„Look at the
moon Merry." Merry looked at the moon, it seemed
close enough to touch, if he just reached his hand out-
//You have to
tell him Merry.// Was it really that obvious? Were
his true feelings for Pippin able to be seen by anyone who cared to
look? //It is obvious to one who had had the same look on his
face Merry, don't waste your love don't hide it away like something
shameful or wrong. Tell him and I hope you ending is happier than
mine was.//
But the moon
wasn't close enough, and no matter how many mountains he
climbed, he would never be able to touch it. But Pippin-Pippin
was right here, by his side, so close and as very touchable.
//You have to
tell him Merry.//
„Pip?" Was
that trembly timid sound really his voice? He
cleared his throat and tried again. „Pip, I-" His voice
disappeared completely as the silver-white glow of the moon shone down
over Pippin his usually sunny golden looks shimmered and for an instant
Merry wondered if he wasn't simply a beautiful figment of his
imagination. Then Pippin opened his eyes and turned back to
Merry, the moonlight turning his fair curls to polished pewter.
„You're not
looking at the moon Merry." That oh so familiar
teasing tone of voice and the cheeky grin were so much a part of the
old Pippin, the young Pippin, the one Merry had feared would be lost
forever beneath the huge weights of everything they had seen and
done. Merry felt his eyes fill with tears, he blinked and looked
away.
„Merry?
What is it, don't cry Merry please." Pip tugged his
arm and Merry shook his head feeling the light splatter of tears on his
cheeks.
„I'm happy Pip,
I am. I'm happy, we're here, we're alive and
we're home safe." Pippin pulled him into a tight embrace stroking
his back as he began to cry in earnest.
„Of course we
are Merry. You've had too much ale." He said
reprovingly, startled by his cousin's sudden tears. It was so
easy to turn into Pippin's warmth to press a soft kiss to the side of
his neck, a gesture of cousinly affection.
„I love you
Pip." Words he'd said a hundred times before and
meant every time. He clung to the younger Hobbits shoulders
unwilling, unable to let go.
„I love you too
Merry, I always have." Pippin returned the kiss
with a quick press of his lips to Merry's „You're my best friend in the
entire world." Merry sighed deeply, of course Pip had no idea
what he meant, why would he think that his best friend and cousin
thought of him in any other terms. He would never guess that
Merry harbored romantical daydreams of them living together for the
rest of their days or lust-filled fantasies that played out behind his
eyes in the dark hours. Suddenly he remembered all the girls
Pippin had taken out into the garden earlier in the evening. No,
Pippin would never guess at his thoughts because Pippin liked girls and
assumed Merry did too and Merry did like girls but he loved Pippin.
„Merry?
Please don't cry," Pip's own voice shook now. „I
love you too Merry." Merry pulled away, wiping his eyes with the
back of his hand.
„I know you do
Pip. I'm just being silly, too much ale not enough
sleep." Pip kissed his damp cheek and linked arms with his cousin
„Then we should
get you home and into bed."
Frodo had given
Bagend to Sam and Rosie and their quickly expanding
family, Sam wanted to wait until the spring to move in and so Merry and
Pippin had the run of the place when they came to visit.
„It'll be
strange coming to visit Sam here it still feels like Frodo's
home." Pip led the way through the dark rooms to the master
bedroom, he released Merry's arm and lit the small lamp at the
bedside. Merry stood in the middle of the room and watched Pip
move around; he lit another lamp and then moved to the fireplace
stacking the kindling carefully before touching the match to the
crumpled paper beneath. The glow of the fire surrounded him
burning his soft curls gold and red. He jumped nimbly to his feet
and was once again standing in front of Merry before he could
blink. „You can't sleep in your clothes Merry." Pip made
quick work of his coat buttons and dragged the sleeves down his arms,
he hung the coat on the back of the chair then returned to Merry's
shirt buttons.
„Uh Pip-what are
you doing?" Merry didn't move away from Pippins
hands, he couldn't seem to move at all. Pippin worked the buttons
through their little holes, even taking Merry's hands to undo his
cuffs, then pulled the shirt off his arms and hung it over the coat.
„I'm getting you
ready for bed silly." As if it were the most
obvious of things for him to be doing.
„Uh-why?"
„You've had too
much to drink Merry and you need me to take care of
you. I promised I would, remember?" Merry shuddered at the
sudden memory; he hated to think of how that day could have ended, of
what could have happened to Pip during the battle at Pelenor.
There hadn't
been a gradual, sneaking realization of his love for
Pippin, it had sprung on him full force when they were under attack in
Moria and when they had been separated and Pippin had gone on to Gondor
with Gandalf, Merry had felt as though a part of him were
missing. The thought of never seeing him again squeezed at
Merry's heart making it hard for him to draw breath, even now years
later the memories still had the same affect on him.
„Oh Merry I'm
sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I know you don't
like to think about it." Pippin knew him so well, every hitch in
his breathing every shadow that passed over his eyes-sometimes it
seemed as if he could read Merry's mind.
„It's alright
Pip, its long over." Merry patted his cousin's
shoulder and almost leapt out of his skin when Pippin's quick fingers
moved to the fastenings of his trousers. „I can manage on my own
Pippin, thank you." The paralysis that had only seconds before
frozen him in place disappeared as quickly as it had come on. Pip
seemed to have other ideas about how well Merry could manage, he batted
Merry's hands away and continued with his self-appointed mission to
prepare Merry for bed.
„Don't be silly
Merry, I'm going to take care of you." Merry
groaned and wished it were true, he stilled his hands by his sides and
wished he could do the same with his racing thoughts, most of which
centered around Pippins hands on his trouser flies. He felt
himself stir and prayed Pippin wouldn't notice, this was never the way
he'd wanted Pippin to find out about his feelings. Finally Pip
was finished with his trousers and they fell to the floor, now clad
only in his under clothes Pip took his arm and helped him to step out
of them then guided him over to the bed. „Now you climb in and
I'll go and make you some tea so you won't feel too sick in the
morning." Merry slid between the cool sheets and pulled the
blankets up over his head and wondered why he'd decided to tell Pippin
he was drunk. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep when he returned
Pip would go to bed himself. The ungrateful thoughts made him
wince; Pip was just trying to help his friend.
„And it's my own
fault anyway." Merry muttered into the
blanket. He froze when he heard the door open and had to force
himself to breathe normally.
„Merry, I have
your tea. Merry?" There was a soft clatter
as the teapot and cups were deposited on the bedside table, the
blankets were slowly lifted from his head and tucked around him.
Merry kept his
eyes closed focusing on the soft hand that brushed the
hair off his forehead and the softer lips that briefly touched his in a
goodnight kiss. What would happen if he pulled those beautiful
lips down for a deeper kiss? Would Pippin pull away in disgust or
would he look at him with pity in his eyes? Which would be worse?
„Oh
Merry." Pip sighed and once again Merry wondered if he could
read his mind. „I love you Merry, please don't hate me."
Merry almost asked why Pippin had said that when his lips were again
covered by Pips but this was no friendly cousin kiss, it was-a
kiss. Pippins lips parted over his and his tongue ran ever so
gently over Merry's lower lip, Merry opened his mouth in an invitation
that Pip did not turn down. Merry was almost certain that he was
dreaming except that his dreams were never this real, he could feel the
warmth of the fire and the cool air coming through the open bedroom
door. Taking a chance Merry lifted his hand to the back of
Pippin's head combing his fingers through the shiny curls. Pip
sighed against his mouth and Merry grinned, that was a very pretty
sound and he wanted to hear it again but once again Pippin had other
ideas.
„Merry?
Wake up, it's me Pippin."
„I know
Pip." Merry grinned again at the confused expression Pip
was giving him. „I wasn't asleep and I don't hate you."
„You don't-but
Merry I-You kissed me back!" His tone was almost
accusatory but slowly a matching grin was spreading over his face.
„You're not drunk are you." It wasn't a question so much as a
realization.
„No I'm not and
I'm so glad you kissed me first." Pippin blushed
and ducked his head, suddenly shy.
„I love you Pip,
my Pip." Pippin fell on him, his mouth now
insistent and hot, his tongue demanded entrance and Merry gave in
easily. Pippin leaned closer, climbing fully onto the bed, one
hand stroked Merry's face and neck the other worked at ridding Merry of
his underclothes. Merry indulged in the kiss for a few long
moments memorizing the feel of Pips mouth and tongue, his hands and
back, before pulling away.
„You're wearing
too many clothes Pip." Merry reached for the
offending buttons only to have his hands slapped away as Pippin jumped
easily from the bed.
„No Merry, I'm
taking care of you tonight. I promised." The
speed at which Pip disrobed was incredible, Merry tried to watch
everything ˆ to burn it into his mind forever ˆ but Pippin was too
fast, his clothes flew, jacket, shirt, trousers and underclothes
disappeared into the darkened corners of the room and Pippin was back
on the bed almost before Merry could blink. Merry pulled back the
blankets and Pip slipped into the bed, there was a delicious slide of
skin on skin and Merry realized how very hard he had become just
watching Pip speed-strip. He pulled Pippin to him, first warm
chest to warm chest, then slowly hot arousal to-
„Oh Pip-wanted
this for so long." He gasped as Pippin moved
closer still, almost trying to climb into his skin.
„Let me take
care of you Merry." Pippin whispered into his ear,
the words were followed by a quick darting tongue that moved over his
ear and down his neck, pausing so that lips could suckle at the tender
skin at his collarbone. Mouth and tongue moved quickly south,
finding nipples that immediately hardened beneath them then further
down to the soft curve of belly. Merry shuddered and gasped, he'd
wanted this for so long and it was so much more than he had ever
imagined. A breathless giggle burst from his lungs when Pippin's
tongue teased his belly button.
„Pip wait, I
can't-it's too much." Pippin lifted his head, his
lips shiny-wet and swollen, Merry had dreamed so many nights of that
beautiful mouth on his aching flesh as he spent himself in his own
hand, but now he wanted more, needed more.
„Let me do this
for you Merry." His voice a seductive whisper
Merry had never heard before.
„No Pip, I
want-to see you." Pippin slid up Merry's body creating
a sweet friction that Merry thought might just kill him, his legs
parted and wrapped around Pippin's waist holding them perfectly
together. Pippin kissed him quickly, almost innocently on the
mouth, his green eyes glowing in the lamp light. Merry moved his
hips pressing upward against Pippins groin, Pippins hips followed the
movement, seeking more of the pleasure that these touches caused.
Merry guided Pip's mouth back to his own and this time Merry demanded
and Pippen gave, their breathing was loud in the silent bedroom, gasps
and murmured endearments filled the still air. Merry pulled back
from Pippins luscious mouth with a sigh of absolute happiness, his eyes
drank in the pure pleasure that washed over Pippins face that sight
alone was almost enough to undo him.
„My Merry."
„Love you
Pip!" His climax built to the point of no return and
then he was riding wave and wave of bliss that rushed through his body
like a river over the falls. Moments or days later he opened his
eyes to meet Pippins sweet face lying next to his on the pillow, they
had been cleaned up and the bedroom door was now closed.
„Did you want
your tea now Merry?" Pippin asked sleepily as Merry
pulled him into his arms.
„No Pip now I
want to sleep, we'll have it for breakfast." Pippin
tucked his head into Merry's neck, curling his body around the larger
Hobbit, Merry wrapped his arms around Pippin's back and kissed the top
of his head. „Good night Pippin, thank you for taking care of me."
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